Bedsharing and the Safe Sleep Seven: Supporting Breastfeeding and Sleep
When my daughter was born, I was committed to breastfeeding and knew newborns needed to nurse frequently. But I didn’t fully understand how exhausted I would feel waking up 6 or 7 times a night, walking over to the bassinet, sitting up to nurse, burping her, and transferring her back—only to repeat the cycle an hour later.
Sound familiar?
For many new parents, nighttime is the hardest part of the fourth trimester. Despite being told “never sleep with your baby,” so many families find themselves dozing off during a feed, out of sheer exhaustion. Instead of pretending this isn’t happening, let’s talk about how to make it safer—and how following the Safe Sleep Seven can support both rest and breastfeeding success.
Why Parents Bedshare (Even If They Don’t Plan To)
Bedsharing often begins unintentionally. You sit up to nurse your baby in the glider or on the couch and wake up an hour later, heart pounding, terrified that something bad happened. You didn’t choose to bedshare—you were just exhausted.
Parents deserve real, practical guidance. That’s where the Safe Sleep Seven comes in.
What Is the Safe Sleep Seven?
Developed by La Leche League and explained in detail in the book Sweet Sleep, the Safe Sleep Seven outlines how breastfeeding parents can prepare a safer bedsharing environment. Here’s a brief overview:
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No smoking in pregnancy or around baby
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Sober and unimpaired (no drugs/alcohol/sleep meds)
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Breastfeeding
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Healthy, full-term baby
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Baby placed on their back to sleep
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Baby lightly dressed, not swaddled
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Firm, flat sleep surface (no pillows, stuffed animals, or gaps)
When these seven conditions are met, the risk of SIDS and suffocation is significantly reduced for breastfeeding infants sharing a bed with their mother.
Myth-Busting: “Isn’t Bedsharing Always Unsafe?”
You may have heard that bedsharing is dangerous, full stop. But much of that guidance doesn’t account for context.
Most of the tragic stories we hear involve unsafe setups—like babies sleeping on sofas, with formula-fed infants, or with impaired adults. The research shows a major difference between this kind of unsafe co-sleeping and intentional, informed bedsharing following the Safe Sleep Seven.
In fact, studies show that bedsharing can support longer breastfeeding duration, improved sleep for both parent and baby, and greater ease with nighttime parenting.
How to Talk to Your Pediatrician About Bedsharing
Not every provider is familiar with the nuance around the Safe Sleep Seven. If you’re getting blanket advice like “never bedshare” without discussion, you’re not alone. Here are a few conversation tips:
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Start with your goals: “I’m breastfeeding and waking often at night. I want to keep things safe and sustainable.”
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Share your knowledge: “I’ve learned about the Safe Sleep Seven, and I’m making sure to follow those guidelines.”
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Ask for support: “What would you recommend to make nights easier without compromising safety?”
If your provider isn’t supportive or seems dismissive, know that you’re still the expert on your baby and your body.
Sleep and Culture: Bedsharing Around the World
In many parts of the world—Asia, Africa, Latin America—bedsharing is the norm, not the exception. Families sleep together for warmth, safety, and breastfeeding ease.
Western sleep culture, with separate cribs and sleep training, is the exception globally. Understanding that can help relieve the pressure to meet unrealistic expectations of solitary infant sleep.
Creating a Safe Sleep Surface
Your bed can become a safer place for your baby with just a few adjustments:
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Use a firm mattress (no memory foam)
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Remove pillows and heavy blankets from baby’s area
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Dress your baby in light clothing and keep the room at a comfortable temperature
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Sleep in the “cuddle curl” position: on your side with knees bent and arm above baby’s head, creating a protected space
Never bedshare on sofas, recliners, or with pets or older siblings in the bed.
The Bottom Line
If you’re breastfeeding, exhausted, and waking frequently—you’re not failing. You’re doing exactly what your baby needs. By understanding and applying the Safe Sleep Seven, you can make nights safer and more restful for both of you.
You don’t have to choose between safety and sanity.
There is a way to support breastfeeding, protect your baby, and get more sleep—and many families are already doing it. If you’d like help setting up a safe sleep environment, or talking to your healthcare provider about your options, I’m here to support you.
Need support? Have questions about sleep and breastfeeding?
Let’s talk. You’re not alone—and there’s no one right way to parent.
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